Kinkade's Disney Dreams Collection

It looks like the kind of joke that would ironically hang in a hipster gallery, except that Thomas Kinkade's latest series of paintings is actually licensed by Disney, meaning they are meant to be taken at face value, whatever "face value" can possibly mean when the artist purees a couple of fairies in a blender before drinking the mixture and then puking it onto a canvas. That is how he makes these, isn't it?

As a side note, Kinkade's association with Disney is somewhat more complicated than the paintings suggest. He once urinated on a Winnie the Pooh statue, uttering "This one's for you, Walt."

Dogs Are Semi-Essential

Is there any right way to answer this question? I don't think so.
Oh, and Sparky--I wouldn't pee on the computer if I were you. Seriously.

Sad Affirmational Poster

I saw a framed poster featuring the motivational Virginia Satir poem "I Am Me" badly damaged and abandoned in a parking lot. I wasn't sure if this was because the poster failed to work, or because it worked too well, prompting the realization "I, being me, am not the type of person that hangs motivational posters around the house."

Twittering Plants

Have we become too tightly tethered to technology? Apparently we've reached the point that we can no longer master basic tasks if a screen of some kind is not involved. Botanicalls is not resisting this brave new world, and offers a device you hook up to your houseplants so they can twitter when they need water.



And it turns out they're obsessed with water! At least this plant is. It's owner is not.

Meme Meets Meme

Threadless T-Shirts recently began printing a three keyboard cat moon shirt for those times when wearing the original three wolf moon shirt just isn't sufficiently ironic. This takes it to a whole 'nother level.

Cheap

Recently PBS's News Hour profiled author Ellen Ruppel Shell, whose book Cheap seeks to explain why discounts seem to be so appealing. Apparently there is a biological basis for this, as the brain metes out a small neurochemical reward when a material gain is anticipated. And it is specifically the anticipation of gain which triggers this response, not the item which is obtained. Conversely, the fear of regretting a missed opportunity presents a strong negative reinforcement with the same end result. This explains why there is never an end to the production and consumption of cheap useless crap.
Like this ugly thing:

Butter Cutter

The next post after this one will be non-breakfast related. Until then:
Reading the history of this item, I learned that the inventor had poured his life into it for at least eight years to get it to market. It would be a shame if after all that, it failed. Regardless, I have made the decision to casually mock his pathetic and unnecessary little achievement here. Who, knows--it's probably more successful than anything I've ever done. He could could be laughing all the way to the bank.
Let's not think about what that would say about society as a whole.