Wolfgang Puck Soup

For me this product only conjures the image of Wolfgang Puck himself serving me this soup, the same creepy grin on both the can and his face, in a bowl also emblazoned with his image, so that his frozen smile gradually emerges from the murky depths of the broth as the soup is consumed. Maybe little Wolfgang Puck-shaped crackers would float around in it. And for the horrific punchline: it's bioengineered Wolfgang Puck meat! Obviously.