Penis Pasta

I thought this was an unfortunate translation of "penne" at first, but no, it is literally penis-shaped pasta. The product advertises its self as "perfect for bachelorette parties," because what party is complete without pasta? Forget the obligatory meatball and/or alfredo sauce joke, there is a recipe for “Big Balls, with Steamy Sauce and Penis Pasta” on the box.

Plastic Owl Update

Presenting the latest in fake plastic owl technology. This hooting, spinning, glow-in-the dark motion sensor owl works by making squirrels and pigeons seem unobtrusive by comparison.

In truth, it is not obtrusive enough. Reviews at wdrake.com indicate the owl is too small, its hooting is anemic, and it tends to stop working after a few days, if what it does can be called "working."

Camo Snuggie

Your prayers have been answered. A new "designer" snuggie featuring an attractive and inconspicuous camo pattern allows you to hide from predators and prey alike as you eat Doritos on the couch.


Plus your dog can have one too.

Neck Slimmer

Warning: Prolonged use may cause decapitation.